lannister

Winter Is Coming Or The Urge For Good SEO Of House Lannisters

…The drops of rain were as irritating as hell to Joffrey as they were not stopping to fall from the grey sky for more than a weak now. The roads were covered with dirt and slime thus no decent hunting was done for a while now. Killing that shy little kitchen maid after several hours of torture was amusing but did not last too long. Thus boredom was all that occupied the mind of the young king for several days in a row now. Every single minute was a total waste.

– Leave us! – The voice of the elder Lion spread around the chambers as thunder. Tywin did not even make a few steps towards the Iron Throne and the room was already empty. Or at least is seemed that way, but Tywin new better. The walls had ears. They always had them and will remain them until the day King’s Landing falls in ashes. Perhaps even that will not cast them away.

– What on earth are you doing, lad? – Tywin’s voice sounded filled with more iron that usual – Why the hell are you sitting around on that throne of yours doing nothing? I’m surprised how nobody’s poisoned you yet with all the pointlessness you are to the Seven Kingdoms! I swear by all the Old gods and the New I will do so myself if nothing changes!

– How dare you! I am the king! I will get you hanged for such arrogance no matter Hand or not. No matter grandfather or not! – Joffrey’s voice lacked confidence and was not a man’s voice at all at that moment. The king sounded like a hurt child just dragged away from a mother’s breast. And then was the punch. A heavy punch of a heavy fist from a strong man with the skills of a killer. The king fell straight back at the throne he was rising from.

– Now shut up and listen! I will not be repeating this again. The mines house Lannister owns are almost empty. The debt of the kingdom is like a bottomless pit swallowing every single coin it can reach to. And our website has more less that the twitter Post some Wildling has made claiming your (the word J.R.R. martin loves to use and describe, yet I am a bit more shy thus I will be skipping it with regard and respect to my readers) is smaller than the one of a pigeon! Why are you doing nothing?

– I… I… – The king did not have a chance to finish as another heavy punch landed straight to his stomach beating the words and the rest of the air straight out of his body.

– I said shut up! Do you know how many views does the Young Wolf’s blog have? It seems like the every last dirty peasant is subscribed to it! No wonder they are winning the war! Thank all the gods, both the old and the new I am here to guide you. We have developed a strategy with your uncle Tyrion. Gods, why don’t you have his brains. Here is what your next orders will be. And do not dare interrupt me again, brat, or I swear you will be out of this throne before you’ll even get a chance of torturing one more little servant! Did you really think I will not be aware of that! But that is not the point now, so listen and I’d rather you to remember all I will be saying!

  • We are to share only the unique content! What is the matter with you and all those copy-pasted how-to’s about decapitation? Are you absolutely insane? Even our executioner has unsubscribed after the fifth one. Our FaceScroll profile has nothing but kittens. Hungry peasants are bored from kittens for all the gods’ sakes. And Westeross is way too cruel for such mems! Who do you think will appreciate them? The Hound? We are to make something of our own with value to the audience we are targeting. And for all’s sake create a blog in an addition to our website. Peasants love blogs! Look at the Tyrells! All they are posting are some of their roses and they are getting more likes a day than your decapitation post will have in a decade. You know why, boy? Because nobody else has such roses.
  • What about backlinks? Do you know how many of them House Lannister, the mightiest house in all the Seven Kingdoms has? Two! Two Joffrey! Just two and that blond over the seas, the Targaryen is in in top of all the local Google results as the knights behind Google are desperately desiring for sites to lead somewhere. Otherwise pages are of no value to them! And I wouldn’t even be mentioning key words. Even people searching for your beloved decapitation are not landing on our page as there are no appropriate key words.
  • We are to gather more followers! More followers are more money! More money is more power in the hands of the Lannisters! If we are to have some be sure to follow them back as that is how the things are to be done. The Lannisters always pay their debts. Especially if such an approach is increasing the audience even more!
  • And lastly, be closer to your people. Use what they love to your profit. Pop Culture is a great tool in our goal. There is this show all of them are watching, The Play of Kings or something of that sort. Figure a way to use it to your advantage! That will be all… For now.
  • If you not good with ruling you have a Hand for that right? Thank Gods you do! Get somebody providing splendid SEO services like the Pinky if you are bad with in!

As the elder lion left the chambers as new knowledge was slowly entering the young king’s head…

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